I am the mobile library man
I drive the mobile library van
I bring you books wherever I can
To Lairg, Drumbeg and Badnaban

Falls of Shin, Clachtol beach
You'd think these places out of reach
But the yellow van it must get through
To bring some sex and violence out to you
I drive by mountain loch and glen
Down single track roads and back again
And the only thing that makes me curse
Is meeting a camper van that can't reverse

I am the mobile library man .....

I think of where I used to be
In a primary class of 33
I'd lose my temper every day
And wish that I could simply run away
But now I drive this big yellow bus
And shelving books is the biggest fuss
Along the bye ways roaming free
This really is the only job for me

I am the mobile library man ....

When I beep my horn I'm at your gate
Come on out I'm running late
Then at Mrs. Gunn's I stop for tea
With cakes and scones and jam she's made for me
Then off again along the shore
Take Mr. Parker's books on war
Then Kinbrace school, but no need for fright
There's only three kids there so that's alright

I am the mobile library man ...

Mrs. Leith comes out in slippers
scours the shelves for bodice rippers
Jamie and his brother Neil
Bring the books in an old wheelbarrow with a squeaky wheel
Mrs. Ross says I've baked a cake
Can you take it down the road to my brother Jake
If you do I'll give you a chocolate bun
You can't call this job work it's so much fun

I am the mobile library man ....

Last week I had a bit of a glitch
And dropped a front wheel in a ditch
Behind my head I heard a roar
When I looked, 500 books were on the floor
I nearly drove straight to the tip
It was less like a library more like a skip
It took 5 hours to get things straight
I'm driving slower now so I might be late

I am the mobile library man.....